Anger
Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure. It is often a reaction to stress, failure, or injustice. Anger can range from mild irritation to full-blown rage.
It is normal to experience anger. At times, anger is the appropriate response to the actions of others. When managed correctly and kept in check, anger can be an important ally to a healthy adult.
But anger has risks, perhaps more than any other emotion. It can alienate people from others and lead individuals to do things they later regret. People who have lasting, extreme anger may find it helpful to explore its causes with a therapist.
WHAT CAUSES ANGER?
The causes of anger can vary. It may be triggered by external factors such as bullying, humiliation, and loss. Internal factors, such as frustration or failure, can also lead to anger.
Anger is not always a reaction to a present circumstance. Sometimes a situation will unconsciously remind a person of a past experience. A person may displace their anger about the past onto the present situation.
Anger typically has less to do with an event and more with how a person reacts to the event. Certain negative thought patterns often precede an outburst of anger. These patterns include:
- Blaming: When a person claims negative events or emotions are always someone else’s fault. Blaming others is often an attempt to avoid responsibility or shame.
- Overgeneralizing: When a person gets caught up in black and white thinking. The words “always” and “never” are common in this pattern. Overgeneralizing often makes a situation seem worse than it really is.
- Rigidity: When a person is unable to reconcile what is happening with what they think should happen. The individual may have a low tolerance for frustration.
- Mind-reading: When a person convinces themselves that another person intentionally hurt or disrespected them. The person may intuit hostility where there isn’t any.
- Collecting straws: When a person mentally tallies things to justify their anger. They let small incidents build in their head until they reach “the last straw.” The person’s anger then boils over in what most people see as an overreaction.
People with chronic anger may also be at a higher risk of substance abuse. Drugs and alcohol can help mask anger temporarily. Yet they may also have the effect of worsening one’s anger, as drugs and alcohol can reduce self-control and tend to increase impulsivity.
If you or a loved one has anger issues, therapy can help. A therapist can teach necessary skills to manage overwhelming emotions. They may also help a person address underlying emotions and memories that may be contributing to the distress. With time and patience, anyone can learn to control their anger.